


All In A Days Work

by LadyKnightOfHollyrose



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, E-mail, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-03-18
Updated: 2010-03-18
Packaged: 2017-11-04 11:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/393242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyKnightOfHollyrose/pseuds/LadyKnightOfHollyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weillschmidt, That crazy woman you who likes to bother you has decided that I’m deserving of her attention. Would you be so kind as to tell me how to go about getting rid of her? Preferably without having her resort to violence. Arthur Kirkland. Written for the Anti-Valentines Challenge on Drunken Disorder. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All In A Days Work

It had all started on an average Monday morning; it had been Antonio’s turn to drive. Naturally, they had arrived at the office with barely any time to spare. Not that Gilbert minded particularly; being a passenger in the car along with Francis whilst the easy going Antonio was driving was always an entertaining start – or end for that matter – to the day.

Then again, Gilbert mused, he and Francis were no less amusing in the driver’s seat… Anyway, the point was that their boss didn’t see any reason to kick up a fuss as long as his employees were at their desks within the first five minutes of the hour, which left them with about ten minutes to scramble up the stairs and grab some caffeine before sitting down in front of their computers.

It was 8:59 by the time that Gilbert and Francis sauntered into the break room, having lost their Spanish friend somewhere along the way as he stopped to chatter merrily to a fellow colleague, either unaware of the time or indifferent to the prospect of tardiness.  
As Francis sidled over to block the way of someone heading towards the door, Gilbert went straight for the hot drinks machine to puzzle over his daily conundrum; get his fix of caffeine first or start the day on a hot chocolate induced sugar high? Just as he settled on the middle road (a coffee with tonnes of sugar in it) he turned and almost rolled his eyes at the sight that greeted him; Francis was harassing the Brit again.

Honestly, Gilbert had seen the appeal of making the short, scruffy haired male splutter colourful curses for entirety of the first month. Personally, thought that the whole routine was getting a little old. Regardless, he watched, stirring his coffee as the hand that had landed on the Brit’s hip steadily moved lower and lower – until it was slapped away. Arthur Kirkland retaliated in the same way he always did; with violence and an interesting selection of curses. He stomped on the Frenchman's foot hard, before retreating to his desk, throwing a resigned "Fuck off, Frog" over his shoulder even as he revelled in the discomfort he had no doubt caused the other.

The pat that Gilbert gave Francis’ shoulder on his way to the door was more mocking than sympathetic, but he reasoned that he could be excused; it was a daily occurrence after all. With one last amused glance at Francis as the Frenchman made himself a coffee and whined to no one in particular about his abused foot, Gilbert shook his head and proceeded to his desk.

x X x

From: Arthur Kirkland  
To: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Subject: I don’t know how you do it

 

Weillschmidt,

That crazy woman you who likes to bother you has, for some inexplicable reason, decided that I’m deserving of her attention. Would you be so kind as to tell me how to go about getting rid of her? Preferably without having her resort to violence.

Arthur Kirkland

 

-

 

From: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
To: Arthur Kirkland  
Subject: I guess I’m just awesome like that

 

Kirkland,

You mean Elizaveta? I don’t think you need to worry about the frying pan; she doesn’t seem to bother getting it out for anyone but me or Francis. That is unless you’ve really pissed her off.  
What’s she doing, anyway?

(I love how the first time you email me is a plea for me to save your sorry ass)

Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Embodiment of Awesome

 

-

 

From: Arthur Kirkland  
To: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Subject: Perhaps delusional would be more accurate

 

Weillschmidt,

I should have known better than to ask you, I suppose, but she’s grating on my nerves and being quite the distraction. If she were just emailing me I could ignore her but once she realised that that was what I was doing, she came over in person…  
You know what? Forget it.

Like you said you never seem to get out of these encounters unscathed anyway.

Arthur Kirkland

 

-

 

From: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
To: Arthur Kirkland  
Subject: Come on, spill!

 

Grumpy Bear,

I just looked over and saw your face; you need to get that stick out of your ass. Also, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on, and face it; you know there’s no one else here that’ll be able to help you with this.

Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Embodiment of Awesome

 

-

 

From: Arthur Kirkland  
To: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Subject: I think I may need to gouge my eyes out

 

Bloody Git,

I’m going to pretend I didn’t read that this time, but if ever try to call me that again I might have to take action. And the damage caused will be far worse than anything Miss Héderváry could do with that frying pan of hers.

But I suppose I’ll tell you; anything to get her off of my back.  
It started off innocently enough… just asking questions that were work related. For the past hour and a half she has been blithering at me about the irritating American intern and how I should ‘confess’ to him already. Confess what exactly? My desire to throw him off the topmost floor of this building so I don’t have to listen to him defile the English language?

I’m at my wit’s end!

Arthur Kirkland

 

-

 

From: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
To: Arthur Kirkland  
Subject: Up shit creek without a paddle, eh?

 

Well at least you dropped some of the formal bullshit. But seriously, it’s going to take a lot for her to stop now. I may have an idea of how to get rid of her. It might be a little tricky. But my time and services come for a price.  
Anyway, I’m taking my break and it looks like you need some more of that tea, so I’ll meet you in the break room.

Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Embodiment of Awesome

 

-

 

From: Arthur Kirkland  
To: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Subject: You’re off your bloody rocker!

 

Weillschmidt,

…That plan will never work. I don’t know how you come up with such ludicrous notions. As the service you were offering is now obsolete there will be no payment of any kind.

Arthur Kirkland

 

-

 

From: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
To: Arthur Kirkland  
Subject: Wimp

 

What, you can’t do something like that for a little peace of mind? It’ll be a walk in the park, and it would definitely get rid of her …What the hell are you so scared of anyway?

Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Embodiment of Awesome

 

-

 

Opening his new e-mail with a frown and grumble, the Brit shot a peeved scowl in the direction of the albino on the other side of the room having finished reading what it said.  
The other didn’t notice.

Arthur had jumped at the opportunity to take a break, both to escape Elizaveta’s interrogation and to refill his mug with some more much needed tea as had been suggested to him (though by this point he was beginning to wish for something far stronger, despite how much he did genuinely love tea and the fact that it was still a Monday morning; as much as he loved the idea of a good old piss-up, his inner gentleman reigned in such urges for a more appropriate time).

He glowered darkly at his monitor.

As promised, the German man had followed him into the break room not long after he himself had set the kettle to boil water for his tea. There were others in there taking their breaks too, Arthur observed, so this was not the ideal place for them to talk. He was surprised when Gilbert made no attempt at communication other than a casual “‘Sup Eyebrows~”, as he walked past the blond, clapping him on the back hard as he made his way over to the coffee machine. Arthur’s tea was still steeping when Gilbert made his way out of the break room again; he didn’t spare Arthur another glance as he settled back at his own desk.

It wasn’t until Antonio, who had just arrived after a scolding for his late arrival (as usual), had cheerfully pointed out the post-it note stuck to his sweater between his shoulder blades that Arthur noticed that he had been left with any form of communication. He had snatched it off irritably, the grip on his mug tightening as he read what it said; “Gilbert’s Bitch”. It was not until he had reached his desk again, seething, that he realised that he had only seen one of the post it notes that Gilbert had delivered to him; the other had been concealed under the first, detailing the idea that he had mentioned.

Not that, he supposed, it mattered particularly anymore. While he had ventured to the break room Elizaveta had disappeared. Arthur certainly wasn’t complaining.  
While he did concede that Gilbert’s plan would certainly have distracted the Hungarian lady from bothering him when he was supposed to be doing work, there was one fatal flaw. Elizaveta would hardly believe what he said.

He had been part way through typing an exasperated response to the latest message in his inbox, when he heard that dreaded voice from behind him again. And no, it wasn’t Francis (at this point, Arthur wasn’t sure which of the two he’d prefer it _not_ to be).

“Arthur; I see you’ve managed to secure your next dose of tea,” Elizaveta smiled down at him and slid back into the chair besides his again. Apparently she had not yet realised that her plan was a lost cause as Arthur had hoped. He nodded mutely in response, sneaking another glance at Gilbert; he noticed this time and smirked back at him as if to say ‘What? Not got the balls to do it? It’s not even _difficult_ ’.

Now, usually Arthur was not baited so easily; it was the combination of frustration at both Elizaveta and Gilbert which made him attempt the plan he had so adamantly been against only moments before.

Elizaveta had already started to prattle about the various relationships she suspected lurked within the office (according to her, you only had to tilt your head to the left and squint a little to catch the subtleties of them) when Arthur cleared his throat uncertainly. He still wasn’t expecting this to work, but he supposed it was worth a shot…

“Actually Elizaveta… you mentioned the Am- I mean Alfred earlier, did you not?” He leaned in towards her slightly, suitably catching her attention as she leant forward herself to regard him in a conspiratorial manner. “You remember that I was the one who had to show him the ropes when he first started?”

Elizaveta nodded; it was common knowledge at this point, largely due to how the Brit and American had been on good terms for the first two weeks of the internship. Arthur may even have ventured to say he was growing fond of the whelp (though not aloud, of course)… Until the third week, that is. No one quite knew the reason why, but all of a sudden whenever the two blonds were in the same room they could not resist sniping at each other any more than they could resist breathing.  
This was one of the reasons that he was certain that Gilbert’s ‘Awesome Master Plan’ - as the albino himself had dubbed it – would fall flat on its face.

“Yes; you two got along quite well at that point, if I remember correctly…”

Arthur almost rolled his eyes at the wink-nudge quality of her voice. Well, assuming that he could still draw upon his rusty acting skills from secondary school he may be able to rectify that. “Yes, that’s right; I took him under my wing as it were. Like a _brother_.” He added, emphasising the addition despite knowing that this would not deter her. Time to step it up a notch. “During that time, I would notice the way in which he would regard the boss...” His voice dropped again and Elizaveta had to shuffle forwards in order to catch the words he said next. “Between you and me, it seemed like something a little more than respect. He seems to be being called up to the office more often than before too; make of _that_ what you will.”

Arthur straightened his back to observe Elizaveta’s reaction as she mulled over this new information. Her expression gave away nothing, and Arthur thought he had been seen through. And why not? Gossiping like this was something he found distasteful, and he had taken no pain to hide this view. Why should she believe him at all?

“…I was so focused on _you_ and Alfred that I must have let this slip...”

The blond blinked incredulously. Did that mean..?

“Thanks Arthur; I need to find out more about the situation.” She winked at him, and the Brit had to suppress a shudder at the predatory look in her eye. “I’ll be sure to let you know how he’s getting along since he’s like a brother to you and all!”

The abrupt departure left him blinking, before he let out a sigh of relief at finally being left to his own devices.

 

-

 

From: Gilbert Weillschmidt  
To: Arthur Kirkland  
Subject: I’ll take payment in the form of alcohol, thanks

 

Hah! What did I tell you?  
No need to thank me; just bow down to my awesome, and don’t forget my beer!

Gilbert Weillschmidt  
Embodiment of Awesome

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> …I didn’t mean to start writing something else when I’m already half way through four others, but when I saw the anti-valentines challenge on the Drunken Disorder community on LiveJournal, I couldn’t reign myself in…
> 
> …And still ended up half a month late.
> 
> Grumpy Bear is, of course, a reference to the Care Bears =D
> 
> Big thank you to Kage31 for helping me with editing~
> 
> Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed the first part of the story, and that you’ll stick around for more of the fun!


End file.
